travel video
travel photos
travel texts
[under construction]
lives somewhere in Central Asia and speaks
only Russian and English learned from Dostoyevsky and Beyoncé

On the road trip to her indigenous
Khorezmi-Uyghur roots Intizor is planning
to finally find peace by killing the national concept of which she is fucking tired of
Documentary road movie
about the concept of ethnic identity,
searching for roots,
and a little bit about Beyoncé
My name is Intizor, and that’s the only thing
that’s left because I don’t belong anywhere.

My dad is from Khorezmi people that officially don’t exist anymore, dissolved in Uzbeks because of USSR; my mom is an Uyghur that was forced to flee her homeland at young age with guilt that only got bigger because of genocide in China.

So, when I was born in Uzbekistan in 1995, it looked like identity anxiety wouldn't pass on me but then as I was a kid we moved to Kazakhstan.

Official document problems, divorce threats made it clear — home would be a kind of mirage for me.

On purpose I didn’t learn native languages or traditions, but instead had close ties to Russian and English cultures. Even the title of this movie is lyrics from an album by Beyoncé because after listening about her pain I started to actually think of mine.

Colonizing myself by Beyoncé is one of the best choices I’ve made so far.

In my opinion, after you colonize yourself you achieve actual freedom.

Sounds similar to a joke still being actually serious about ethnicity and countries seems strange to me.

For a long time I tried to convince myself that it was fine for me to be from nowhere, that the past would not follow me.

It turns out that the past is a shadow, it never leaves you.

That’s why I decided to hit the road and while questioning the origins and nationalities of the people I meet on my way, I will head to the homes of my parents: China to Kazakhstan to Uzbekistan up to Turkmenistan borders.

My main intention it's to talk about stateless people.

Ongoing genocide is just an extreme result of "world logic" that is also allowing 3000 ethnicities versus 200 countries.

Slavery was legal once. Same should apply to countries in my selfish opinion. I was called an anarchist for this position yet it was born not only from my brain rather my whole body.

I'm afraid of nationalism, of dividing, of flags, of borders, of cold big monuments, of history made with blood, of the question "What's your ethnicity?" after people hear my name.

I can sense how the elephant in the room transforms into a monster, collective trauma thanks to the silence.

I will interact with people by asking them to guess my ethnicity. Reactions to this impossible to answer the right question will be mixed with my on-site artistic gestures.

Movie will be focusing on stateless minorities by creating comfortable conditions for them because while reflecting on my background they can make short comments or dive deeper into their own story thus making them more visible

Colonizing
myself by Beyonce
is one of the best choices I’ve
made so far.
'
I've always loved Christmas songs, and it seems so unfair that they are only listened to for a short time of the year, and then kind of abandoned and ignored

I play them all year round and love them so much that I decided to try to write an Uyghur
Christmas song
Mariah Carey—All I Want For Christmas Is You
Ariana Grande—Santa Tell Me
Destiny's Child—8 Days of Christmas
Paul McCartney—Wonderful Christmastime
Judy garland—Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Я вижу тебя только раз в году, это странно
Но если так комфортнее для тебя, Санта дедушка
Как ты поживаешь? Я была такой хорошей
Честно, не понимаю зачем, ну да ладно

Не нужны никакие подарки в это Рождество
У меня всего достаточно, нет, даже не нужны милые свечи
Не попрошу о шоу из снега и льда
Санта дедушка, климатический кризис не твоя вина

Ждать чудес это мой стиль из прошлого, когда я была маленькой
Но так как это социально приемлемо просить тебя о вещах (вещах)
Другими словами чтобы поддержать Рождества дух (дух)
О, у меня есть лишь одно желание

Санта дедушка, можно мне хотя бы маленький кусочек земли?
У всех вроде есть, не такая уж большая проблема, фа-ла-ла-ла
Хоть и запутанно: есть место что могу назвать своим, но также не могу
Что-то не так со мной или может с миром, фа-ла-ла-ла

Романтические отношения переоценены
На одежде кровь современных рабов
Устала от повышений по работе и капитализма в целом
Ничто не заставит мои глаза гореть кроме

Santa buva, hech bolmiganda kichikinne Vetyan bolamdu?
Hemme ademde Vetyan bar, bu uncha chon masile emyasku, fa-la-la-la
Men Vetyan dep ataydigan yer bar, birak men uni Vetyan dep atalmaymyan.
Yaki mende bolmisa duniyada chushenmeslik barmu? Fa-la-la-la
Hazir yana rus tilida takrilayman

Санта дедушка, можно мне хотя бы маленький кусочек земли?
У всех вроде есть, не такая уж большая проблема, фа-ла-ла-ла
Хоть и запутанно: есть место что могу назвать своим, но также не могу
Что-то не так со мной или может с миром, фа-ла-ла-ла

Take part in the survey
The reason I’m initiating this survey and documentary project “Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Side Chicks” is firstly deeply personal because my parents belong to stateless people.

I was struggling to understand what home means to me, even thought there’s something wrong with me, and it took me years to figure out who I am, why I am where I am now, what actually can define me.

Sense of belonging is one of the fundamental ones I guess. While I was growing up it was frustrating to find myself to be an exception over and over, to realize there is no box for me. However there are so many people out there who are going through the same process. It's just big narratives based on power that don't represent our voices at all.
I believe that there are a lot of blind spots when we are talking about identity in a modern world. Sometimes it seems like our understanding of ourselves changed while the way institutions and systems are functioning did not.

This survey is both an attempt to deepen my research and possibility to share stories in a safe place. Ideally I want to publish shared stories on this website that we can collectively reflect on complex, mixed identities.

Please feel free to answer only questions you want to or answer them partially therefore the survey can be anonymous if you want.

Thank you so much for your participation!
Take part in the survey
Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Side Chicks (с) 2021 — 2027

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